(Pastor Scott’s secret thoughts)
“Where are the men and women to look me in the eyes, and save me from myself? Does anyone care about my soul, more than their own? Does anyone have the core strength to tell me NO! Can anyone suffer my abuse, my twisted logic, my deadly love in order to keep trying to bring me the truth? Does anyone really care enough about me, to stop me?
What about you, Chuck? Richard? Neil? Scott? Jerry? Or how about you Jeff? Kimberly? Waleed? Jon? Greer? Tony? Or you Bruce? Mike? Josh? I chose you to work alongside me, because I admired your integrity, hoping you would help me walk the straight and narrow. Hoping I could not corrupt you. I have always hunted for ‘precious lives’. Did I corrupt all of you? Am I that powerful? Is there no one good enough to withstand me? To save me from myself? Please stop me, because I can’t stop myself.”
But God says, “And Saul was yet the more afraid of David; and Saul became David’s enemy continually” (1 Samuel 18:29). “I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost, That I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh” (Romans 9:1-3). “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).