A word for the ladies, watch your step at our church. Many fine women have been destroyed by our pastors. You may wonder how to avoid being defamed by Calvary Temple, well…
#1 Don’t be too Godly! They like simple-minded suck-ups. Hang out with Greer and Kimberly, be their lackeys, praise them, and frequently ask their advice.
#2 Don’t be emotional; because if you are, they will recommend via your deacon/deacon’s wife that you go on anti-depressants. Pastor Scott likes happy wives/women/girls. (Keep in mind, drugs are a black mark in the eyes of social services if you ever have to go for custody of your children). Be happy and make everyone at church believe you are content!
#3 If your father-in-law is rich, he may have you sign a legal document (pre-nuptial) saying if you leave “God”, i.e. Calvary Temple church, you forfeit any of your husband’s assets since your marriage. So you should definitely sign it in order appease the pastors and your husband, but if you would like to refrain from signing away the assets that are rightfully yours, don’t sign it.
#4 Don’t let your husband pay the bills without checking up on him. He can quietly stop paying the ones in your name and destroy or greatly hurt your credit before you find out and the damage is done.
#5 Be careful that your husband doesn’t empty your bank account. If he kicks you out of the house for rebellion (like lots of ladies before you), go to the bank immediately and get your money. He will be told to take it all in order to “break you” and “send you to the “pigpen”. All in God’s name of course!
Just a word to the wise women in our church who think it could never happen to them…yes it can.
Scripture is quite clear on how a husband should treat his wife. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” It is pretty easy to assume that destroying your wife’s credit or signing away her marital assets is not something that Christ would do.
(For other Scripture references refuting this tactic see Ephesians 5:2, Ephesians 5:28, and 1 Peter 3:7)